Tuesday, July 21, 2015

A Confluence

The river by my house.
Big changes and loss have challenged my family these last few years. Suffering most recently has been my husband, so we've found ourselves frequently looking for ways to cheer him up.  Some bad allergies, unresponsive to almost all medicine, have always made it difficult for me to enjoy the great outdoors, but guess where my husband feels most relaxed?  

Yes, indeed.

So I put on my big girl pants and decided we are going to spend as much time outside this summer as possible: Kayaking, hiking, biking etc. Saturday was a kayaking day. There is a river close to our house so we put in for a couple of hours, laughed a little, bumped into each other and splashed our paddles around. Husband pointed out different wildlife and oriented me relative to area landmarks. He took pictures and I looked for interesting things on shore. 

It appears one of the continued perks of my late-in-life third pregnancy a couple years ago has been a noticeable decline in my allergy symptoms. There have been times when tooling down this  river would have sent me to bed miserable with swollen, itchy, runny eyes and nose. I was all prepared to pretend I was having a thrilling time when something else happened:

Now, floating under some weeping trees, I experience what many people do when outside in nature. Ripples and swirlies make art on the water and I smell the warm wet without the distraction of an imminent sneeze. My senses, not being preoccupied with an allergic reaction, begin to immerse in the sights and sounds and smells of this place. Something inside me unfurls like a brand new leaf. I sink into the kayak.    

I watch my husband take in the sky and water and green and think, Now, just. . .now.  Breathe in this color, breathe out my worries, submit to the earth, usher peace to my soul, and send it all to my partner. He is relaxing and I don't need to be here for that to happen, but I'm glad I am. The trees have never been more perfectly green and each leaf has been carefully cut out and folded by hand, it seems, just for him. I listen to the quiet trickle of water from my paddle, behold this misty, origami forest.

Sometimes you're walking along, living your life, wondering what it's all about and a confluence of all that we are and everything that has happened results in this. . . thing: A husband whose healing can only be found when surrounded by a wooded landscape; a loss that makes you appreciate the beauty of the world a bit differently; a reminder that all marriages end and the love story lives on in its children; the continued discovery of gifts big and small brought by an unexpected baby, and the birth of an unexpected life for us all. You're overwhelmed with all this and then, just when you least expect it, there is this beautiful river. And your partner just happens to be floating on it. With you. And you can really, really breathe.  Literally, you can.  So you do.  And just like that a falling apart story ends, and a putting back together story begins.  You know you will be different when it's over. You will be better. Yes, indeed.  
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13 comments:

  1. Enjoying the great outdoors is a beautiful thing! Glad you were able to enjoy it-missing allergies while prego-who'd of that would happen! Woo-hoo!

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  2. You so beautifully described those rare magic moments in life when you feel a connection to nature and you realize the love and the strength of your bond to your spouse.

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  3. Lori such a beautiful heartfelt piece! I love being outdoors because you are so right it heals the soul with all its wonderment. So glad you and your husband had a wonderful day!

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  4. Lovely piece! I love the line "something unfurls inside me like a brand new leaf."

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  5. Oh, I'd give a lot not to have an allergic reaction to the outdoors. I'm on the second round of allergy shots (in my life) and therefore I would relish in having less problems!

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  6. What a beautiful piece...from the title (which I love) to the very last paragraph (which is a poem all to itself). Simply lovely.

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  7. Stacey, I've had allergy shots as an adult, too. Ugh! Not sure how long this will last--I'm still having symptoms, just not nearly as severe--but I'll take it. :-)

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  8. Beautiful slice. The last paragraph is perfect a bookend to the title.

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  9. And just like that a falling apart story ends, and a putting back together story begins. Perfect! Breath and Relax. Nice post!!

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  10. Your writing is just gorgeous. That last paragraph gave me chills...love the part about a falling apart story ending as a putting back together story begins. I shared your Slice from last week with the Writing Project as our final morning read aloud. Josh's story brought the room to tears and renewed conviction that what we do in regards to teaching writing truly matters for our students. I look forward to reading your writing each week!

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  11. A falling apart story and a putting together story - beautifully written. I wish you more kayak moments - it's the only "sport" I can do anymore, and I am aways restored.

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  12. Oh, this was just so beautiful - thank you for sharing, I love the descriptions of the origami trees and I agree... that last paragraph is just gorgeous.This was a wonderful reminder of the beauty that is out there in the world and in our everyday experiences, so long as we remain open to seeing it.

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